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   March 2nd, 2002
  It's our anniversiry.
What I never remembered during thirty-five years
Overwhelms me in the thirty-sixth with its bittersweet intensity.

The love in my heart for you now,
(and that I was always so bad at expressing)
overflows and deepens my lonliness.

It is a composite love,
   composed of the passion of youth,
      like stolen pleasures in the sun room of your parents home,
      and a honeymoon spent mostly in bed.
   And the fights! Oh! the fights!
      You made me so mad I threw my coffee against the wall,
        and I don't even remember why.
      Or the time your were going to leave
         and I ran in front of the car to stop you
A shared lifetime of caring deeply for another person
glows now, like a fireplace on a cold winter's night
A tear comes to my eye, just when I thought I was through crying,
But brings strength for the morrow.
And the work of eviscerating my solitude.